How to talk about relationships and love… in Italian!

Italian Terms of Endearment
Kathryn Occhipinti, MD
Kathryn Occhipinti, MD for Conversational Italian for Travelers books

Valentines Day will be here again soon, and so will the need to say, “I love you,” in Italian! For the last couple of years, I’ve focused on finding important phrases  about dating and relationships in Italian when I read Italian novels or watch Italian movies, since these are phrases that are not usually listed in textbooks. Once I find these phrases, I run them by my Italian friends and instructors to see if and how they are really used.  After all, language is a “living thing,” and I’ve always been fascinated by how people use their language.

I’ve managed to piece together the following information how Italians talk about relationships, which is reprinted from my blog where I post what I have been learning for advanced students of Italian.  Italian Subjunctive (Part 4): Italian Hypothetical Phrases of Love.

For these advanced blogs, I typically provide a dialogue or story that uses the theme phrases, and then an explanation of the grammar needed to understand what I have written.  Feel free to click on the link to the blog above to read a dialogue about a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship and learn a bit about the subjunctive mood if you like!

Finally, I will leave a few phrases from Conversational Italian for Travelers textbook and the Just the Important Phrases travel pocket book on  Amazon.com and www.Learn Travel Italian.com   and Amazon.com to help with your Valentine’s celebration!

 

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Talking About Italian Relationships and Love

 

Today in America, we “date,” “go out on a date,” or refer to two people who are “dating,” from the first romantic encounter until they become married. After they are married, they can still have “date nights.” But be careful when translating American romantic experiences into Italian! The English verb “to date” as used in America today to refer to a romantic relationship does not have a literal translation in Italian.

Of course, to “court” a woman was common in past centuries, and the Italian language still reflects this. When a man tries to show he is interested in a woman, the phrase “fare la corte a…” is used from the verb corteggiare or “to court.”

If a woman wants to refer to dating a man, the following phrases can be used:

“Mi vedo un ragazzo.” “I’m seeing a boy.”
 “Esco con un ragazzo.” “I’m going out with a boy.”
“Il ragazzo con cui ho/avevo appuntamento.” “The boy with whom I have/had an appointment.”

There is another verb still in use in Italy today that refers to a man seducing, or “winning over,” a woman: “conquistare a… ” If a woman lets herself be “won over” or “captivated” by a man, she can use the phrase, “Mi lascio conquestare a…”

The usual Italian phrases used to refer to two people who have become romantically involved and are getting together regularly before marriage are “to go out with someone”“uscire con qualcuno”—or “seeing each other”“frequentarsi.”

Finally, to express a close romantic relationship in Italian, we can use the word “rapporto.” Any relationship in general is considered a “relazione.” But be careful, as an “affair” outside of marriage is also a “relazione,” whereas “affari” refers to more general personal and business “affairs.”

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“Ti voglio bene” is an idiomatic expression in Italian, which translates roughly as, “I wish you well,” or better, “I care for you.”  It originates from the verb volersi, which takes on a different meaning than the verb volere.  The meaning of this verb is not easily translated into English, but is used often in Italy for many different situations.

“Ti voglio bene” is an old expression that is still used for platonic forms of caring and loving among family members and close friends in Italy today. The expression can be used between a boyfriend and a girlfriend and is also used between a husband and a wife. Watch some older Italian movies, and you will hear this expression often!

Mi voui bene? Do you care for/about me?
Ti voglio bene. I care for/about you.

 

The verb amare, which means “to love,” is reserved for romantic love—that one true love held between fiancée and fiancé, wife and husband.

Mi ami? Do you love me?
Ti amo. I love you.
Ti amo per sempre. I will always love you.

 

Just the Important Phrases from Conversational Italian for Travelers
Conversational Italian for Travelers “Just the Important Phrases” (with Restaurant Vocabulary and Idiomatic Expressions)

Available on Amazon.com and www.Learn Travel Italian.com

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Cuccidati – My Family’s Christmas Cookie

Sicilian Christmas Cookie Cuccidati
Kathryn for learntravelitalian.com
Kathryn Occhipinti, MD, for Learn Travel Italian.com

Last December, I attended an event called La Festa dei Cuccidati for lovers of the Sicilian Christmas cookies called “cuccidati.”   It was organized by Salvatore Sciacca, director of the Chicagoland Italian American Professionals,

The event took place at Casa Italia in Stone Park,  the cultural center and central meeting place for Italian-Americans in the Chicagoland area for many decades.  There was a wonderful turnout that day for this event, and there were many, many varieties of cuccidati, all beautifully presented and available to taste.

We had dozens and dozens of cuccidati to sample – all donated for benefit of Casa Italia – from local bakeries and also from individual families.  The family recipes had, of course, been handed down through the generations, and many recipes were proudly displayed along with their cookies. There were more than 20  different varieties!  There was a contest for the best bakery cookie and also the best homemade cookie.  There was a demonstration as well.

All this is to say that I was really looking forward to this event, and it did not disappoint in the number and variety of cuccidati available.  Making this cookie with my mother, aunts, and now my children, has always been a highlight of the Christmas season for me.  I was looking forward to sharing this tradition with members of the community that I have come to know in Chicagoland, and so excited that they, too, shared special memories of the same Christmas treats that I loved.

Although, a funny thing happened.  I found out that the cookies that my family makes and calls “cuccidati,” are not exactly what were made that day.  In fact, all of the varieties that day used a fig filling, while my family recipe uses a combination of raisins, almonds, and citrus.  So, I did a bit of research, and although I have not found the exact recipe for my family’s cookie online, I have found many similar recipes.  I have an idea that it is just one of many similar “types” of Sicilian Christmas cookies that have developed over the years.

Visit the recent Learn Italian!blog post from December 1, 2017, to read about my family’s cuccidati method if you like.  An excerpt is below.

I’d love to hear from anyone who makes a cookie with similar shapes or a similar filling!  And, whatever your family traditions this holiday season, I wish everyone, ” Auguri di buone feste natalizie!”

 

Cuccidati: Traditional Sicilian Christmas Cookies 

Italian Christmas traditions are unique to each region of the Italy and have been lovingly handed down within families through the generations. Cuccidati – a version of Christmas cookie that probably originated after the Arabs introduced oranges and almonds to Sicily centuries ago – play an important part in the Christmas celebration in Sicily even today.

All Sicilian cuccidati, or any Italian cookie for that matter, are unlike what Americans think of when they think of cookies. Most Italian cookies are made from dough that cooks up drier than American cookies and there is much more variation in the presentation.  Sicilian cookies come in a multitude of different shapes and sizes and fruit fillings are often enclosed in the cookies as a special treat.

The recipe given below is for a Sicilian Christmas cookie—my family calls them “cuccidati,” although they are not identical to most of the cookies found online under this name.  The cookies in this recipe start out as the “typical” cuccidati: one long “tube” of sweet, Italian pie-crust-like dough, which contains a dried fruit and nut center. (No figs in our version, by the way.) But, instead of then cutting the tube into bite-sized pieces that are finished with icing, my family cuts larger pieces, which are then formed into different shapes, and finishes the cuccidati with a sprinkle of powdered sugar.  Whatever the name, this is just one version out of many dried, fruit-filed cookies still made in Sicilian bakeries today to celebrate the Christmas season.

When I was a child, my family always gathered the weekend before Christmas to share our creativity while we formed our cuccidati into wreaths, ribbons, or candy cane-like forms.  They could be completely covered in dough, which would allow for a creative, fringe-like covering, or left open.  The sides could be pinched for decoration if like, similar to how Americans form a pie crust along the rim of their pies. If you would like to see how the various shapes of these cookies are made, visit the Stella Lucente Italian Pinterest site.

The ingredients for the cuccidati filling are considered easy to come by today, but remember that dried fruit, including raisins and oranges and spices like cinnamon were considered special when the cookies originated.  These filling ingredients were only found only in well-off households. Since the filling ingredients are difficult to chop and mix together, in some Sicilian towns “back in the day,” people would bring their filling to the butcher to mix together for them in his meat grinder, which had been newly cleaned for the season for this purpose.

Despite the few ingredients in traditional cuccidati, and the difficulty of making the filling with them, the dried fruit has a rich sweetness, the roasted almonds a robust flavor, and the cinnamon, orange, and citron add a complexity of flavor that goes beyond its simple ingredients. Try our recipe this Christmas season for a taste of Sicilian tradition!
—Kathryn Occhipinti

Click here for the recipe and method to make cuccidati.

Visit www.learntravelitalian.com for more of my Italian and Italian-American recipes, cultural notes and  advanced Italian language blog posts updated monthly. Click on the link “our blog” in the upper right hand corner to reach blog.Learn Travel Italian.com.

Italian Terms of Endearment

Italian Terms of Endearment
Kathryn for learntravelitalian.com
Kathryn Occhipinti, MD, for Learn Travel Italian.com

According to one legend, St. Valentine’s Day started after the Italian saint of the same name left a note to his beloved. The note was written from prison just before he died, and it is not known if she ever received this note or even knew of his love. Such is the stuff of legends! But the way Valentine’s Day is celebrated around the world today is truly an American invention.  

In our Conversational Italian! group on Facebook, we took this opportunity to discover the ways Italians tell their romantic love that they really care. I have copied over some tried and true phrases and pet names and even learned a few new ones myself! Special thanks to my Italian friend Atanasio in this group for keeping me current on this important topic!

 

How many more ways can you think of to say you care about your romantic love? Please reply. I’d love to hear! Or join our Conversational Italian! group discussion on Facebook.

This material and more on this topic are available in the Conversational Italian for Travelers pocket phrase book, Just the Important Phrases, on amazon.com and Learn Travel Italian.com.

The rights to purchase the Conversational Italian for Travelers books in PDF format on two electronic devices can also be obtained at Learn Travel Italian.com.

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Italian Terms of Endearment

 

Tried and true…

amore (mio) my love, or simply “love”  
dolcezza sweetie
gioia mia my joy
pucci sweetie (also refers to a person who is tender or affectionate*)
tesoro mio my treasure

 

References to cute animals and…

cricetino little hamster 
cucciolo puppy
gattina kitten
patatina little potato (Yes, apparently this is really a pet name!)

 

Some phrases to use every day to let the one you know you care…

Sei tutto per me. You are everything to me.
Tu sei il mio amore. You are my love.
Per sempre tua. Forever yours.

 

*Stai attento! (Be careful!) This word is also part of the phrase “Facciamo pucci pucci,” which means, “Let’s have sex.”

To revisit the important phrases Ti vogio bene and Ti amo, see my first blog post on this topic from February 2016: How to Say “I Love You”… in Italian!

 

Just the Important Phrases from Conversational Italian for Travelers
Conversational Italian for Travelers “Just the Important Phrases” (with Restaurant Vocabulary and Idiomatic Expressions)

Available on Amazon.com and www.Learn Travel Italian.com

Buona Festa del Ringraziamento!

Happy Thanksgiving

Today’s Italian saying is about how being content with what we have is the key to happiness. This saying is in honor of the American holiday of Thanksgiving that takes place every November in America.

Buona Festa di Ringraziamento!

Il 24 di Novembre

Content is happiness.
Chi si contenta gode. = One who is content is happy.